Marriage is a Journey, Not a Destination

✨ SHIFTed Perspective: A Wife’s Journey in God’s Design ✨

Two weeks ago, I had the honor of attending SHIFT—a transformative two-day women’s conference led by the incomparable Coach T, a wife coach whose wisdom is rooted in God’s word and divine purpose. This wasn’t just another event. It was a sacred space where wives gathered to rediscover the true meaning of our role, to be reminded that being a wife is not merely a title, but a calling—one that requires grace, strength, and spiritual alignment.

In this journal entry, I reflect on my experience at SHIFT and the revelations that stirred my heart. From navigating marital hardship to embracing the truth that marriage is a journey, not a destination, this post is a window into the lessons, emotions, and divine affirmations that unfolded over those two powerful days.

✨ Marriage: A Path, not a Place ✨

We often grow up hearing that getting married is the goal. It's something we're taught to desire, to dream about, and to chase after - but rarely are we taught how to keep the marriage once we get there.

Many of our parents and grandparents had marriages that lasted for decades. We honor their longevity, but what often goes unspoken are the hidden hardships - the pain, the struggles, the nights they wanted to give up but didn't. Too many of those stories stayed behind closed doors, leaving the next generation to figure it out on our own.

That silence - that secrecy - may have been their way of surviving, but it hasn't served us well. Because when we only see the appearance of longevity without understanding the journey that built it, we end up unprepared for the reality of marriage. We need their truth. We need their transparency. We need their lessons - not just their endurance.

It's harmful to push marriage as the ultimate goal without sharing the full picture - the challenges, the growth, the grace required to sustain it. Marriage is more than a beautiful ceremony and matching rings. It's more than love and romance, it's spiritual work. It's a covenant. It's a ministry. It's two imperfect people trying to honor a perfect God together.

No one really sits us down and explains what it means to be a wife according to God's Word - how to love with grace, how to lead with humility, how to pray over your husband, how to intercede when he's under attack, how to war for your marriage in the spirit, or how to discern when the enemy is attacking your peace.

The truth is spiritual warfare in marriage is real. The enemy doesn't want unity. He doesn't want covenant. He doesn't want you to thrive together - he wants division, distraction, and destruction. "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it abundantly" - John 10:10

And when things get heavy, ugly, or confusing, you have to be equipped to withstand it. You can't fight spiritual battles with fleshly weapons - you need prayer, discernment, the full armor of God, and Holy Spirit guiding you daily. "Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes." - Ephesians 6:11

You need to be anchored in God's Word, rooted in His presence, and humble enough to let Him show you, you.

Marriage will teach you so much about your spouse, but it will teach you even more about yourself. Holy Spirit will use marriage to expose pride, selfishness, impatience, insecurity, and fear - not to shame you, but to grow you. To refine you. To make you more like Christ. If you let Holy Spirit do the work - if you give Him room to reveal, refine, and renew - you'll come out stronger, softer, and more spiritually mature.

Marriage is not the destination - it's a journey of sanctification. A sacred process where God uses the covenant to shape you into who He's called you to be.

So don't just pray for a wedding. Pray for wisdom. Pray for endurance. Pray for discernment. And most importantly, pray for a heart that's willing to yield to God - even when it's hard. Because a God-centered marriage can withstand anything when both hearts stay surrendered to Him. "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." - Ecclesiastes 4:12 (You + Your Spouse + God)

So yes, let's continue to celebrate marriage - but let's also start telling the truth about it. Let's teach, share, and cover one another in wisdom and prayer, because we don't just need "relationship goals" - we need God's goals.

We need guidance. We need truth. We need God.

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✨ Moment of Reflection ✨

Whether you're reading solo or sharing this post with your sister circle, take a moment to pause and reflect. These questions are meant to stir your spirit, deepen your awareness, and invite God into your journey as a wife:

• Have I been treating marriage as a destination—something to achieve—rather than a journey to walk with God?

• Where in my marriage do I need to extend more grace—to my spouse, or to myself?

• What does being a wife according to God’s word look like in this season of my life?

• How am I inviting God into the daily rhythms of my marriage—not just the hard moments, but the quiet ones too?

• What “shift” is God calling me to make in my mindset, habits, or heart posture as a wife?

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🌿 Thank you for reading.  

If this reflection stirred something in your heart, I’d be honored if you shared it with another wife or woman walking her own journey. Let’s continue building a community rooted in grace, truth, and divine love—one post, one prayer, one conversation at a time.

Feel free to leave a comment, share your thoughts, or pass this along to someone who needs it. You are seen. You are loved. You are never walking alone.